brni (brni) wrote,

the dreams of 4am (est)

Last night's percocet-inspired paranoid nightmares I mentioned on facebook, saying:

One of them involved having to remove my right eye to hand it over as evidence to the secret police, but discovering that there was something in my eye socket that was holding on to the back of my eye with barbed legs, refusing to let go.

Tonight, I was a woman who was simultaneously a witch during the witch trials, a Jew during the holocaust, and an American in some shadowy near-future dystopia, trying to determine whether she was unknowingly a collaborator, pointing out in some way without volition or self-knowledge her own people to those who would exterminate them, destroying everyone she loved. Every time I was at the verge of understanding what was going on, Linda elbowed me awake; apparently the impending knowledge was disturbing enough to translate into the physical.

ETA: the dreams of 6am and 8am continued to be disturbing.

In one, I was with two friends from grad school, L. and J. - unusual in itself in that L. and I are no longer in touch as her boyfriend (now husband) would fly into a rage and break her stuff every time she and I spoke, and I stupidly wrote her an angry letter one day saying if getting hit by a truck and almost dying didn't constitute an adequate exception, then I didn't need her in my life; and in that J. died a couple years back. The three of us were in what appeared to be the ruins of churches built upon cathedrals built upon the bones of something much much older, combined with some sort of water & power works construction project - tunnels that led deep into whatever that much older thing was to run water mains and conduit. We were trying to work our way through the shipwrecked pews and altars, climbing the floors to find a way out, but we became distracted. J. became increasingly erratic and emotional, as if extremely drunk and/or stoned, and it ended with her on a trapeze dressed only in bra and panties, continually almost falling off, and when I'd run to try to help her, she'd pull herself back onto the trapeze bar and laugh at me with contempt. Meanwhile, L. had found one of the tunnels that went straight down into the blackness, and oily, gritty water was spraying out of it. She was determined that we should go see what was down there. Nothing good would come of that, and I didn't want to follow her. I tried to talk her out of it, but she became angry and went down without me.

In the other dream, there were aliens. Sort of V.-like, wearing human skin with alien underneath. But unlike V., they were not new arrivals; they'd been here a long time, quietly manipulating us for their benefit. The leadership had finally come to the conclusion that what they were doing was immoral, and had decided to leave, and find a new place to live. A few were not happy with giving up owning a planet, and had staged a bizarre rebellion that involved the kidnapping of a baby which was necessary for the liftoff of the spaceship. It would be nice to think that they just didn't want to leave the child behind, but I think he was meant to be part of the ritual to start the ship's engines. Which makes the good-guy/bad-guy split a little more fuzzy.
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