July 7th, 2005

coyote

abandoned

well, linda finally left me.

at 7 this morning, she packed the forester up - clothes, toothbrush and other necessities, and a book - and she left, driving off into the damp morning. loki sat on the step with me and together we watched her drive off, and loki knew, in that mysterious way that dogs know these things, that this time linda wasn't going to work, wasn't coming home this evening. and when finally stood to come inside, she stood too, but she didn't follow me, just watched the road where the car had disappeared, tail between her legs. just watched.

i can't say i didn't see it coming, but i also can't say i discouraged it. because she deserves it, she deserves some happiness, some fulfillment in her life. and me? well, for some time now i've been trying to scrape out little bits of alone-time, time for myself, to read, write, whatever. now i will have it, in abundance, but now it just seems vaguely empty, just marking time.