Q: I gotta know, are they natural or implants? A: We cannot reveal information that might jeopardize our information gathering methodologies.
Q: I am Miss Clancy James, a 24yrs old girl from Moravia Liberia in West Africa, I am the only daughter of late Dr Akin James, the personal adviser to the former head of state president Charles Taylor, who is now detained under the United National War Crime Custody, his rebels men.s attacked our house one early morning killing my mother and my father, It was only me that is alive in the family now, and i managed to make my way to near by country where i am staying as a refugee now. The main reason why i am contacting you now is to seek your assistance in the area of my future investment and also to help me to transfer the money that he deposited in finance firm, over to your possession. A: As per previous correspondence, our records indicate that funds in the amount of 2.5 million dollars (US) were successfully transferred to accounts held by Charles Taylor, and that these funds were subsequently transferred to accounts held by Dr. Akin James. I'll run another transfer trace investigation. BTW, do you happen to speak Pashtun?
Q: Should I be worried about this red bump on my arm? A: Nevermind that bump -- try exercising and eating more soy protein and fiber to get your cholesterol down (285 is dangerously high).
Q: My wife suggested that I get this new haircut, how does it look? A: It's fine -- but what's up with the pedicure?
Q: Where's Waldo? A: We're still looking, but you can trust that we're following up on many excellent leads.
Q: I'm interviewing with AT&T, can you put in a good word for me? A: Already taken care of.
Q: Where did I leave my keys? A: Inside pocket of your gray jacket (it's hanging in the front closet).
Q: What should I get my wife for her birthday? A: Blue sundress from Calypso. Size 12. Also note that she likes to have her toes licked.
Q: Is now a good time to buy Google? A: Unfortunately, due to strict federal laws NSA cannot provide stock tips.
Q: Can I substitute margarine for butter in my Toll House cookie recipe? A: We know that you've been smoking pot.
Q: What should I have for dinner? A: You've been eating a lot of Chinese and pizza -- how about some Turkish?
Have a question? Ask! dearNSA@gmail.com