brni (brni) wrote,

Ithilen Rhapsody

or "What if LotR was written by Queen"

(with apologies to Freddie Mercury)

Precious, just killed my friend
Wrapped my fingers round his throat
Then I fled in his own boat
Precious, life had just begun
And now I've gone and thrown it all away
Preciousssss, ooooo        (look at how the ring glows)
I don't wanna die
I'll find a nice dark place to hide forever
And carry on, carry on
Because only one thing matters

One day, a stranger comes
Tricksy hobbits with a sting
Cheats at riddles, steals my ring
Where is it, my precious? We needs it so
Got to leave this place behind and gets it back
Precioussss, ooooo      (look at how the ring glows)
We'll finds it yes we will
That hobbit will wish he'd never been born at all

   I see a little siluetto of a man
   Hobbitses, hobbitses
   And they stole it, my precious
   Elves with pointy sticks
   And nasty hobbit tricks, oh no!

   Gilthoniel Gilthoniel
   Gilthoniel Gilthoniel
   Gilthoniel Gilthoniel
   Gilthoniel Elbereth
   A Elbereth!

   I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

   He's just a poor boy, he's lost everything
   Spare him his life from this monstrosity

   Easy come, easy go
   Will you let me go?

   Mister Frodo, no, we can't trust him, anyway

Smeagol and Sam alternate:
   Let me go
     Mister Frodo, we can't trust him, anyway
   Let me go
     Mister Frodo, you've got to be insane
   Let me go
     He'll kill us in our sleep
   Let me go
     Toss our bodies in the deep
   Let me go
     Oh just shut up, you
   Let me...

   Nasty hobbits have the precious but we promised to be good
   We'll bide our time till the fat one gets to be our food
           our food
           our fooooooooooood

So they tell us to trust them and give up nice fishes
Hands us over to men with sharp knives and bad wishes
Ooooh, massster.
Wicked, tricksy, false masssster.
Only one way there
There's only one way there for you now

Only one thing matters
Anyone can see
Only one thing matters
Only one thing matters to me

Look at how the ring glows
Tags: lotr, shorts
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